that nasty green-eyed monster

Comparison is an ugly game.  It steals confidence and creates instability.  
Judging my life based on the lives of others makes me feel a bit schizophrenic:  I can’t even decide from one week to the next whose life I should be jealous of….
Sometimes I look with jealousy upon the full-time stay at home mom, who can devote all her energy to the home and family.
Sometimes I look with jealousy on the full-time working mom, who makes a nice paycheck and puts her college degree to it’s best use.

Then I remember that my part-time mom/part-time professional life is an incredible gift, and to live it with excellence I have to do so without comparing myself to anyone.

Sometimes I look with jealousy on my tall, thin friends, who can wear the lasest styles and look amazing while doing so.
Sometimes I look with jealousy on my friends who do not meet the standards of “beauty” that the fashion magazines foist upon us, but they nevertheless exude a confidence that makes them truly, truly beautiful.
Then I remember that it’s me — my 5 foot 4 inch self — that my husband loves and finds beautiful, and to speak or think ill of myself is an insult to him and to my Maker.

There are days that I wish for an exciting, bigger-than-life personality that exudes passion and joy and is always the life of the party.
There are other days that I so long for a calm, humble and quiet spirit that exudes peace and wisdom.
Then I finally remember to be grateful that God has made my personality somewhere in the middle, and allowed me to be a good friend to many who operate in either extreme.

Envy is nasty.  It destroys gratitude, and creates a hardened and unthankful heart toward the plan God has for my life.  That green-eyed monster of jealousy has no place in the life of this woman loved by God!

How about you?  Jealousy ever rear it’s ugly head in your life? 

2 comments on “that nasty green-eyed monster

  1. Oh sure! Especially in blogland where everyone puts their best foot forward. It’s easy to deceive oneself into thinking that certain ones never have a day where they act like a crazy woman or feed their kids junk or have a nasty pile of paper clutter that is threatening to take over the office.

    Gotta always keep envy in check. I think the key is to cultivate that grateful heart. When I really take time to thank the Lord for the thousands of little things it’s difficult to feel cheated or less-than.

  2. Pretty much every time I read your blog dear friend! Thinking about how your writing gets more amazing all the time. And how your children’s childhoods are being captured in such a fun, accessible way. And all the lives your blog is influencing ingot the good.
    And then, I remember how much I hate piles of laundry in my home, and I’m all better. Ha!! Great post.

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