My shampoo promises to “transform dull, lifeless hair into shiny, gorgeous hair.”
My face cleanser vows to reveal “younger, healthy-looking skin.”
My toothpaste claims it will give me “beautifully whitened teeth.”
My body lotion supposedly “creates a healthy, summer glow all year long.”
My face moisturizer is apparently a miracle in a bottle, claiming it will, “leave skin soft and smooth…improve skin texture…even out skin tone…improve skin clarity…and prevent breakouts while clearing up blemishes. A total soy complex provides beautiful even looking skin!”
All this leaves me wondering – Why am I toiling away among the rank and file housewives of the world? I have been using these products faithfully for years. I should totally be a supermodel by now.